i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
