I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize