How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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