apparently the secret to your success is patron
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
