We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize