Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You can't motorboat a personality
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
