I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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