I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
