he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize