I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
