But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
