Sponge bath it is.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
