I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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