got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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