you would pick up someone in the library
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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