We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
