Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
