When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
