Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
