Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize