I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
