bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
