Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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