I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
