i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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