I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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