walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
