Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
