she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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