Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
