I have demons in me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
