You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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