So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
