I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
