that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
