Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
