16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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