So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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