i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize