Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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