he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
