Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize