playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize