margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
