If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
