I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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