Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
