That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
