girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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