im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
operation have a gay friend backfired
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
