Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That accounts for only three of the penises
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I got inside last night via doggy door
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
