Tell her she can't have a vagina
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
