so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
