What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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