On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
