I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
