I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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