I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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